5 min read
Introduction
This is step 3 in your journey of fulfilling your New Year’s resolution. Step 1 was planning, step 2 was taking action, and this step will consist of how to be consistent. Sticking to a regular routine that’s hard to regularly go through sucks, yet, you might already be doing it (or hint: have already done it).
Most of us live life just living. Seriously. If you took a look at the lives of everyday people, who work a job, for a boss, and then come home, all tired, and just watch tv (or scroll on their phone), and then go to sleep. Although it might already be ingrained in you and your family’s past – that’s a really hard, consistent process to go through; every day.
I mean, if you just showed that life to a kid below the age of 8, they probably would think very similarly too. The older the get, the more used to this life we become. And if you were someone that disliked high school, and just dreaded going every day, and missing hours of your precious life, then you’ve -probably- already experienced this kind of life already.
The truth is: this life sucks. And, for many, it only gets worse. As you leave high school, thinking that you’re now free, you realize that you will never have as much freedom as you did then. Now you’re trapped in an endless cycle of what to do with your life, and about missing this and doing that; your mind is its own world of conflict.
The goal of this post is to, hopefully, end that; because, hopefully, your New Year’s Resolution is not one just to make life better, but to change it.
Before
Before fulfilling your resolution, what is life like? What change will there be after making this resolution come true? How, in a positive way, will your life change? Baby steps are important, however, please make sure your steps (planned) are large enough to get you to X.
Anyways, for this post, we’ll be assuming that you already have your resolution made-up. Otherwise, what I’m going to tell you is absolutely useless.
Why don’t most people make it?
When people create resolutions, or really just a new plan for the ‘New Year’, they tend to consist of short or full-on plans on how to move forwards and ‘make it’. However, what’s worth keeping in mind is that most people don’t make it. Most people, when they draft a resolution right on the spot, for a majority of people (I know I just repeated myself, I know), it’s just a dream. It’s just an existing goal that’s there in the background, and with very little realism when you think about it.
However, for those same people, it might not seem that way at first. Instead, they might feel hopeful, get a nice boost of motivation; long enough to sustain them for a couple of weeks, and keep at it. But, then reality kicks in. Outside objects (not literally) start beating them down mentally and physically, draining them of any droplets of energy left in their system, forcing them to give up and have no choice but to stop progressing. Close to everyone goes through this phase (and it’s not a short one either), and they almost always, give up.
That’s what resolutions are. They’re temporary goals people set just to not reach them. That’s not what they are at all however. Resolutions should be achievable, they should be in sight of everybody’s own vision, and in reach. No matter how crappy your position is, you should be capable of blowing a candle and making your dream come true.
Therefore, the answer is simple: people simply run out of the original motivating factor for starting in the first place.
The Problem Behind It All & How To Fix It
When you first start, you probably think about how you’re gonna make it, and what life will feel like once you do. But, once reality starts backhanding you, you’re brought up against a striking truth: life was never supposed to be this straightforward. There was supposed to be challenges – and that’s what happened. Some days it rained, other days it poured, and other days it thundered.
So, what can you do against such a mentally-destroying force? No, not easy.
You have to continue. You have to continue fighting, and fight even when you can’t stand it. The reason this person on the internet, or this other person on the internet both lost weight, got a new promotion, or found a new community of friends is because they made that step. No, not a leap of faith – a step. Don’t mix them up.
Let me give you an example.
There’s person A and person B. Person A has a simple goal: build muscle. Notice that I said “simple” and not “easy”. They are very different terms, though they might sound identical. His plan to accomplish his goal is to 1) eat healthy, 2) get exercise, 3) drink plenty of water, and 4) repeat until he’s at his ideal physique. This is his second year in a row trying to accomplish the same goal. Last year, he failed miserably after being unable to stay consistent and continue eating healthy for 2 months in a row. By that point, he gave up. This year, however, he promises to make it.
Then, there’s person B. They have the same exact goal. Their approach is a lot more approachable however. Instead of attacking the goal head-on, they’ll repeat the same process as person A, but with one tiny tweak: they won’t track time or muscle.
How To Make Resolutions a Reality (Resolution –> Reality)
A resolution is defined as:
a firm decision to do or not do something
Therefore, this goes both ways. A handful of people might struggle with a seriously threatening smoking addiction, making it almost impossible to give it up, therefore a firm resolution might be the only realistic way to get rid of it.
The trick (or not really I guess) to making a wish come true is to not obsess over the difficulty of reaching the end checkpoint, but rather thinking about the end goal itself. Why might life be so much better once you achieve this goal? Why might it not? Ultimately, it comes down to how bad you want X. If you want it bad enough, and are willing to really, really struggle for it; you can definitely make it a reality. I know I’ve said that too many times already – besides the point.
Your Future Is In Your Hands
No one can force you to do anything, and that’s another harsh truth to face directly. What makes elementary school and high school so different is -of course- the difficulty of the courses people take, as well as the maturity and natural IQ of students (by this I mean: experiences and how they form new perspectives). But, what also changes is the way in which you’re controlled. If you somehow traveled back in time, and went back to elementary school, you would probably feel like a dog on a leash. Having to be walked around, in a single file line, by your teacher, everywhere, sucks.
We, or at least I, didn’t realize it then, but because I was so young (and so used to it). I was so dependent on my teachers, and other adults to guide me and perform the most essential and basic steps. Now, as high school students and college students too, we don’t have that same level of dependence at all. Sure, we might need to ask a few questions to our teachers here and there about some occasional stuff. But for the most part, we’re good on our own.
Present that level of independence to any elementary schooler, or even middle schoolers, and they might ask you questions as for how you do it. Chances are, when you were younger, you had the same questions too. But, the reality is, you simply got older. You matured, you realized things, you just got older. You don’t need people to guide you through the maze that is life anymore, or maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself, because, that’s actually what an adult is like.
Your Future Is In Your Hands (cont.)
And even then, lots of people have questions. How do you manage bills, debt, car payments, contracts, taxes, groceries, tire replacements, negotiations, phone calls with customer support, buy a new phone, un-tow a towed car? There are millions of questions people have right now that are simply waiting to be answered in the coming future. You just need to wait a few years, mature a little more, maybe grow a little facial hair, and you’ll be there.
Look, the point is: no one else can make decisions for you. Even if you’re still in high school, reading this, trying to do the same, I’ll tell you this: it goes no different for you too. The same principles still apply. You still have to work hard. You still have to take big steps that are hard to take.
You’ve grown up so much, and been led to this point in your life, just to give up? In a lot of cases, we need someone to be there just to tell us to work, and stop being lazy. That person is necessary for a majority of us, and it sucks to admit it.
If your goal matters enough to you, and is significant enough, you’ll be motivated enough to shred through absolutely any obstacle on your path.
Who Gets To The Goal First?
Ok. Now that we’ve covered all that, let’s return back to the situation we presented earlier. Which person do YOU think will be more likely to reach their goal? The person that tracks their progress, or the person that doesn’t track that nor the time it takes them to get to X?
If you recall, we presented a a brief concept regarding this constant “tracking”. If you are always tracking everything, and making yourself aware of where you’re weak, and where you need to improve, it might actually have the reverse-effect. Turns out, it might just make you more aware how imperfect you are. Sure, it’s natural. But for lots of people, that’s a hard roadblock to get over.
Additionally, it also, unfortunately, makes time pass by slower. What should be 4 weeks is now a week and a half. Literally, that’s great. But, in the aspect of your goal and fulfilling it, that’s bad.
And… that’s your answer. Person B succeeds after over a year and a half of pursuing the goal. He set aside the fact that it was taking him an absurdly long time; however, given how slow our body naturally is to changing to certain conditions (especially physique-related); his progress and time taken was very good. On the other hand, Person A was unsuccessful, being unable to proceed after 6 months since he wasn’t seeing any worthy progress, believing that his efforts were futile, and no match for his body’s “slow metabolism, weak immunity, etc…”
There’s a reason why tracking calories is so daunting. It makes you feel guilty of what you put in your body, and it gives you a really solid reason for it (the calories themselves). Are you sure it’s the best method?
After: Staying Consistent & Not Losing Hope
The reason most people fail is because they lose hope (of reaching the end goal) and are therefore unable to stay consistent to their routine. I believe that everyone’s mission should be to avoid reaching this low point at all costs.
Losing hope is enough to drain you of your energy and leave you weak and nimble, and with no manner of proceeding.
Thankfully, this step is a quick, easy-to-repeat, one. What you need to do is:
- Stop tracking time and useless metrics of progress. These will distract you from the central goal, and make you feel terrible in situations in which you need it the least.
- Feel confident. Repeat the same process everyday. Find a reason to adore the process, and love doing it. Find a joy in it. It will suck and be hard to repeat everyday, but it will get you to where you want to be eventually. Acknowledge the fact that that’s better than being in the “awful” position you’re in now.
- Don’t let influence trap you. Social media and other popular methods of communication can make you feel like your progress is meaningless and insignificant relative to another person’s steps. This is your journey, not theirs.
- Implement steps 1-3 whenever you feel low. You can do it, you just can’t lose hope.
Conclusion
I’ve seen many people create “face the reality” kind-of posts regarding the New Year. It’s a great opportunity to take advantage of people’s weak spots, and hit them where it hurts most for their attention. However, I don’t think I’ve seen enough posts discussing what YOU should be doing after setting a resolution, making a plan, and taking action. How do you repeat it, even when it just seems hopeless? I’m hoping that this post provided the answer, and the hope you needed, for that question.
