5 min read
“How To Revive A Good Habit That You Quit”
Introduction
There’s been many times where I’ve broken a habit that’s good for me temporarily, and then gone back. It happens very frequently, and sometimes I question whether it’s caused because of a coping mechanism or whatever else. By this I mean: does it frequently happen because of poor accountability, or because of a legitimate reason?
However, there’s a good chance that you’re experiencing something completely different. You broke a good habit that you should be doing, and now you’re no longer doing it. Easy fix, right? Just do what you used to do, and repeat.
Well I wish it was that easy. If I start incorporating a new food into my diet, and I really like eating it because it brings me far more satisfaction than anything else I eat, getting rid of it won’t be that easy. Most people online say to just do something and get it over with. Stop wasting time. Stop wasting other’s care. Just get it done, and get over the challenge and your complaints. And for the most part, I do agree with this statement. In most cases, the best thing you can do is to just do it.
For example, if I’m used to getting up in the morning and watching an episode of a show that I like (rather than getting straight with the day); then although I like the decision I’ve made now, I won’t be happy with the decision I made later on in the day. Today we’ll discuss this exact concept, or the concept that we know as instant vs delayed satisfaction – or gratification.
Quick Notice (unimportant)
Recently we haven’t been posting too frequently on the website or the youtube channel; and the reason for that is that we’ve been working on something behind the scenes, looking to improve the quality of all our posts, while also dealing with some personal business.
No worry though! We’ll now be posting very frequently with the summer being here; so we’ll be sure to take advantage of all the time we have and trying to push out as much value as we possibly can!
If you have any suggestions for post ideas, please feel free to let us know. We write almost primarily based on experience and rarely ever use research; although every now and then we will pull up some evidence whenever it should be used. Either way, we’ll be happy to take any ideas. Let us know on our Instagram page (@GraduationGurus) or on our YouTube page. We’ll be happy to hear your ideas.
The Root of Everything
Firstly, it’s important that you understand where this all started. Did summer just suddenly hit, and you completely forgot how to properly use your time accordingly? That’s what happened to me, lots of times.
Right before summer hit, I said I would do this and do that. Very often, I ended up doing those exact things, but not to the best of my ability. The reason this is true is because once summer hit, I lost all concept of time. I went from having basically no time because I had to do schoolwork and so much other bs to have all the time in the world. I was abundant in the one thing I felt I never had enough of.
It’s almost like going from poor to wealthy overnight. One day, you have nothing and are struggling to make ends meet. The next day, you have all the money you could possibly ever dream of having, and don’t know what to do with it. Do I invest it in a promising company that I think will give me a good return? Do I finally buy that car that I’ve always wanted? Having too much causes us to make decisions that we’ve never think of taking because we simply don’t know where to go.
This was the exact situation that I lived in every summer. This when I was too young to get a job, and once I was too old to go to summer camp. Besides, summer camp isn’t an efficient use of time at all. And jobs aren’t necessarily the most high-leverage activity at all. They tend to drain your energy, only reward you with money, and bring you no real value besides work experience.
What I’m Trying To Say
The point here is: I found what was wrong with me, and with my approach. I didn’t know what to do with my time, and it costed me heavily. What’s wrong with YOU and YOUR approach? What can you be doing better that you aren’t doing now? It’s a simple question with a simple solution that only requires you to actually care.
The reason an abundance of time was such a problem was because I was previously organized, knew what to spend my days doing, and usually did the same thing everyday. Consistency was hard during the school year because I went to bed early and came back tired. Don’t even get me started with the lack of time. However, consistency was also easy because I only had a set time slot everyday. So I just ended up living in a repeat lifecycle where doing the same thing wasn’t hard.
However, once I had too much time I couldn’t properly assign my tasks for the day nor get stuff done. I was lost and with no proper structure because I also didn’t feel like create daily tasks for the day to organize everything. Trust me, it was bad. The root problem was my inability to deal with such a fat timeslot of free time that I didn’t know how to spend it.
And that’s how I broke the habit of doing work consistently and all during my free time.
How To Recover A Good Habit
You get back into the habit of doing X by making it clear to your mind that’s inevitable and becoming obsessed with the outcome. People will tell you to fall in love with the process; but that’s only possible if you’ve already fallen in love with the result of that process. If you don’t see the vision, you won’t go through the steps to get there anyways. Make every move with purpose.
Again, if you just recently incorporated a new food into your diet, but it turns out that it’s actually not good for you in some aspect; make yourself remember how good things were before or could be in the future. Sure, maybe the diet you had before was bland compared to what you eat now; but if you’re skin is breaking out or your energy levels are just at an all time low, dude, get rid of it. It’s really not that complicated.
Instant vs Delayed Satisfaction
This concept is the idea behind doing something for the dopamine we get immediately, or for the dopamine that we get in the future. In the past, and I mean like a long time ago (back in the hunter-gatherer era), we were a species based on delayed satisfaction. We had to starve ourselves (relative to today’s standards) before a meal because we needed enough energy to hunt in the first place, and because there were no such thing as supermarkets where you could buy anything you need right on the spot.
Nowadays, if you want a chocolate shake, you just buy it with whatever money you have. You could make a healthy alternative at home, but it costs more, and takes time to prepare. So, no, I would rather not.
Hunter-gatherers would work together to hunt an animal and get a meal so that they could eat and be satisfied. But by no means was it instantaneous. They had to be patient. If they weren’t, there was no eating.
Of course, comparing society to how it was in the past is not the most sensible decision to make. We function way differently than people did then. We have access to technology that couldn’t even be conceived in the past because things change just like that.
Why This Matters
The purpose for the comparison however is to introduce the concept of the two types of satisfaction. I could either have this really good thing right now, OR I could wait once I’m done working a few hours later to eat it. Although it might sound like the same exact outcome/situation. It’s absolutely not. If you just give yourself a treat to snack on with no work required, it feels given. It feels “free” in a way. But if you were to work for it, and then eat it at the end of the day, it would taste so much better.
The reason we build good habits in the first place is so that we can be better and create a version of ourselves that we can be proud of. If we were to go by our bad habits, and just refuse to change, we would stay the same forever and never escape the pit we burrow ourselves in.
You should understand this. You could just stay the way you are now, or revert things back to the way they were when you were happier. No one likes, at least for people that aspire to be something great, sitting at home doing nothing and just watching as all the opportunities blitz them into the depths.
The Most Straightforward Advice You’ll Hear Today
You had a reason for that good habit some time ago. Why did you originally start doing it? What was your reason? You started a diet because you wanted to achieve a nicer physique, or maybe you started studying for the SAT because you want to increase your chances of landing into a better school. You have the reason already in your head, you just need to lock it in, play some intense music, and get to going. That’s not a real grammatical phrase, but we’ll pretend it is.
For example, again, if I’m used to building software projects and learning new coding skills as frequently as possible, then just lock in that purpose that you originally had before.
My Strategy
For me, what works really well is the following in order:
- The night before, go to sleep at a good time. Please make sure that you’re actually tired physically at minimum. Go outside and tire yourself out. When it’s summer time, I usually tend to be never physically tired because I have no need to walk between classes and carry a heavy bag on my back.
- The morning of, brush your teeth and wash your face. That’s it. If you have a skincare routine, make it quick. No longer than 10 minutes total.
- Right after, immediately proceed with working. If you were in the position that I’m referring to this entire time, you will immediately be whispered to by your mind to “just relax and scroll for a few minutes”. Those few minutes will turn into half and hour before you regain consciousness. Don’t fall for the trap. Please.
- Start working on whatever you usually work on and start playing phonk or heavy music through headphones preferably. I recommend these preferably because they give really good motivational boosts almost instantly. They satisfy that need for instant satisfaction, while you work your way towards delayed satisfaction.
My 2nd (untested) strategy
I work through a rigorous routine everyday, and find that this works best for me when I need to lean back into a habit. However, if you’re tackling a less serious habit, I recommend you listening to some motivational song or reel and just piling yourself with motivation. Just listen. Keep on doing this until you’ve had enough and just want to get up and do some push-ups. This is your moment to strike.
People use motivational videos and songs as a laughing stock for what not to consume. It makes you feel accomplished when you’ve really done nothing. However, I want you to consume these. Lock into your brain that you’re nothing without your good habits that make you and make us. If we weren’t as organized as we are as a species, we’d accomplish nothing and be nothing. We’d be nowhere. Make it clear. Make it so clear that it will take force for your brain not to see it repeatedly.
The Fallback
If those two strategies don’t work, you’ll need something far more explosive or impactful.
I’ll recommend two strategies:
- Go for a walk outside. Just let your mind clear. If you’ve had too many things to think about, you’ll be unable to properly think or perform any basic mental calculations. Give yourself the mental gas needed to accelerate.
- Fallback. Do some brief exercise, preferably push-ups.. Put on some phonk music. I’ve leave the recommendations below. Do this for a session of 5 minutes. Do not exceed or your brain will find an excuse to do something else. Set a strict goal that is within reach and not unrealistic. Once you’re done, assess your before and after. Sure, it took work and struggle to get through that time, but you did it nonetheless. And now, you feel greater. You feel stronger. You feel unstoppable. That music should really be kicking in by now.
- By doing this, you should realize that although you initially didn’t like the idea, you went through with it, and feel better as a result. You have a taste of the good habit that you’ve always wanted to follow, but your brain didn’t.
- All hope is lost. Waste the entire day. Do whatever you feel like doing and don’t ever doubt your brain, unless it suggests to you to start being productive. Watch netflix, play videogames, play outside, do whatever you feel like wastes your time and is a drain to your potential. Go to sleep late, and wake up in the morning. Don’t set an alarm. How do you feel now? Was it worth it? When are you going to realize that nothing will change unless you change? That was your fault. Proceed to fallback #2 (previous).
Song Suggestions
(yes this is based on what’s popular)
- ATLXS – Passo Bem Solto (slowed)
- MXZI – Montagem Tomada (ultra slowed)
- Memory Reboot (slowed)
- NCS – Mortals (slowed)
Some of these aren’t phonk. But if you search phonk you should find something.
Conclusion
Don’t disappoint yourself. You already know that you need to do it. Just beat yourself up even further until you are at the point you need to be to strike hard, or just strike first. And no I didn’t copy Cobra Kai, I actually just came up with that on the spot.
