4 min read
“Black bare trees on forest during daytime photo” – Unsplash.com
Introduction
Nostalgia is a horrible feeling capable of consuming anyone if it gets a firm grasp and never evaporates.
For many years, I had to deal with horrible nostalgia that made me want to relive the past and never come back. I knew it wasn’t possible ever but I still wanted it regardless. Rather than enjoy the present, reliving the past is always infinitely better.
I’ve seen many arguments online about how late 2024 was so good and how we took it for granted due to how awful mid and late 2025 was, but I couldn’t disagree more.
Nostalgia is BLINDING
I figured I’d make this as clear as possible. We miss the past because our memories make us believe that it was better than it really was. Of course, this doesn’t go for everything.
Prime Fortnite for example, ranging from seasons 1-8 of chapter 1 for me personally, were some of the best seasons in the games existence. Nothing will ever beat it. Ever.
However, what blinds me the most in regards to that thought is nostalgia. The game was good, but there wasn’t that much going on. Almost a little stale if you ask me. Seasons 1-5 were great, but there wasn’t a whole lot going on. But maybe for the best. If I had a ticket and relive just a day of season 5 again, I would take it no matter what. Of course.
I can feel this way, just like you might, about pretty much anything else. You might recall sophomore year of high school as being so good and much better than your miserable 23-year-old life right now, but waking up at 6am and attending 7 or 8 boring periods where you knew barely no one since your friends all took other classes, and then getting home at 3pm, where you finally get to hop on the game or hangout with friends, doesn’t sound too nice if you ask me. In truth, these days are boring. Every single one of them are.
Personal Example
Elementary school, grades 4-5 for me was a blast. The greatest years of school of my life. But I know that if I time traveled to that time again, in the same mind and body, the days would probably be less enjoyable than my days right now. I get to sleep whenever I’d like for the most part, I have more freedom, and best of all, I’m truly conscious of myself. I couldn’t say the same for my former self. Not that I wasn’t conscious though. Don’t get it twisted.
I can almost guarantee
Almost definitively, I can virtually guarantee you that your life 2 years ago was NOT much better than your life right now. Unless you work a draining 9-5 right now and were graduating high school then. Sure, maybe then you have a valid argument.
The only reason it seems better is because you’re supposed to remember the good parts. Freshman year of high school might’ve seemed absolutely phenomenal for me, and they absolutely were when I think about them now. But if I went back in time and stayed there for months on end, I would wish to move back in the future to my life now. I’m almost certainly not the only one.
Nostalgia does this to you. To anyone.
Why This Happens
If I’m not mistaken, dogs live their life in a way in which they can’t recall exact memories precisely, but recall emotions. They know when they’re sad, happy, upset, or all three. They can recognize change.
For people, it’s a tiny bit different.
Nonetheless, just like dogs, we recall memories most by the emotions that were experienced in the moment than the details of the moment. By recalling the emotion (the hardest part to forget about a memory), we can recall the details, sometimes in astronomical detail. Rarely. Has to be a significant event for that to happen.
Therefore, it makes sense that when you recall a memory, you remember the emotion you felt when it took place. Remembering the good is easier than remembering the bad or boring. That’s what stands out, even if it wasn’t frequent.
The Self-Explanatory Way To Overcome Nostalgia
Self-explanatory, but not achieveable for a select few people. I don’t doubt that life in the past was better for some people. I do understand that. We have our ups and downs. I’m writing this for the people that still think about the past, but not about the present. How to find something good in the present that they never originally saw in the past, but do now.
Recognize this:
- Our memories don’t store days and weeks and months as you experience them. I won’t remember writing every sentence in this post a week from now. At least not vividly. I won’t because it’s relatively useless information. I don’t need it. That goes for basically everything in your long-term memories. It’s the reason music brings us back to the past and reawakens our memories. Smell does the same too.
- Basically, what I’m trying to say is that you recall memories from the emotions you felt in that specific moment. If emotions are high either negatively or positively, your brain will have a reason to store it for the long-term. If emotions aren’t high in either direction, you won’t remember it.
- Going back to your 20s and reliving a day might be better than a day now, but not as inherently goood as you make it out to be. That’s bias.
- Theoretically, we could do the same for negative memories (very negative ones but not too traumatic) too. By just re-emphasizing how bad a particular day was, and doing the same thing for years after, it can make the day seem a million times worse than it really was. Bias is unfortunately a limiter on your true potential.
Nostalgia = Bias
Don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t like the word bias.
However, I can sometimes argue in favor of it even when it pisses me off. Just because you drank a different brand of juice and you felt a light stomach ache a couple hours later, does not mean the juice caused it. Correlation is not causation.
It might be an easy decision to make, an easy conclusion to reach, but it means nothing. Well, maybe a little. Better than no conclusion I guess.
But you get the point.
Recalling events in our past for how good they were based on our memories solely is poor judgement. Memories can be… deceiving.
Also the same reason why testimony in court is unreliable sometimes. The brain is built off biases that make our judgements illogical and impossible in actuation, but make sense to us! So, therefore, it has to make sense!
Right. Of course not.
Just wanted to point that out.
Nostalgia For People In Harder Times
Okay. This one’s particularly tricky, but I think we can break the shell with just a hard enough flick. (don’t know a better word sorry)
The difference with this kind of group is something distinct. Turns out, it’s actually a form of depression known as “nostalgic depression” where memories from the past can seem so perfect and make the now feel unbearable.
1. What Are You Actually Missing?
As I said before, you crave the high and positive emotions and vibes you used to feel. What used to give you that feeling and what might give it to you now?
Maybe you miss the freedom, belonging, excitement, or safety you used to feel. Write this down. Write whatever emotion/feeling you miss now that was a core part of your memories in the past.
Now…think. What could you possibly do now to achieve those same requirements? I’m suggesting creativity here to as great of an extent as possible. Maybe downloading a new game and playing it on the console with a friend or some new people might get you up and running again.
Not a form of sustainment, just to get you off the road.
2. Anchor Yourself in the Present
Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. Stay in the present because your mind is time-traveling.
Also, I seriously don’t recommend listening to music that makes you reminisce the past. That’ll just make it a million times worse. Don’t add fuel to the fire.
And please don’t do a gratitude journal. Contrary to popular belief. Your life might be hard right now, but that’s temporary. It’s okay.
3. Fantasize Forward
Recognize that your memories from the past are cherry-picked and not true representations. Stop believing it. Doesn’t get more simple than that.
Imagine a version of yourself who felt confident and capable moving through life. What might that person do TODAY? I’m not asking you to plan your week, or month, no. Just keep a mental framework of where you want to be. Keep it in your mind at all times. Never ever forget it.
Hard Times Become Better Times
When I look back, I miss freshman year of high school. Everything being so new and unfamiliar, and not really enjoying it in the moment, but loving it once time had passed. Of course, there were some great moments. But they weren’t frequent. Nonetheless, I’ll always remember it for that “freshman vibe”.
But maybe someone else didn’t find freshman year good at all. They miss being in 8th grade and being with their main friend group before the separation (although the real separation is after high school). Not surprising to hear by any means.
Eventually, life keeps on passing and it all gets better. You might not realize it immediately, but you do eventually. Soon enough you’ll have realized that you took the past (which is currently your present) for granted and that you should’ve enjoyed it more.
Maybe you should’ve enjoyed your senior year of high school more. Maybe your college years when you were bombarded with work, but still had the time of your life. Experiences matter so incredibly much to us. Positive experiences, even when they’re not necessarily frequent, is what gives that positive feeling of nostalgia.
Conclusion
Nostalgia is generally a good thing when you look at it. You should always have a record of your life stored in your mind, and have the freedom to move back in time to “relive” those same experiences. Hopefully VR glasses make this a reality in actuality.
However, when you take nostalgia and just stretch it infinitely, it begins to rupture and tear. Eventually, it’ll burst, and the pieces of that rubber will explode everywhere. That’s nostalgia. Everyone has a breaking point.
