3 min read
“How To Appeal To Their Self-Interest, And Not Mercy”
Introduction
If you’re in a spot in life currently where you aim to get more, obtain more, and do so with ease (and without having to fight for it), then you’ve found exactly what you’ve needed: Guidance.
Welcome to a new, temporary series that we’ll be introducing here at GG with our first post: The 48 Laws of Power.
Written by Robert Greene, this spectacular writing piece brings together a collective 48 items for mastering oneself, maximizing personal status, and leveling your power to levels you’ve never seen before.
The 48 Laws Of Power
In this new series of posts, expect the full coverage of all (or close to) 48 laws, with our personal interpretation and perspective on it, and how you can apply the law to your daily life, and use it to maximize your position in life to the best of your ability.
In this post, we’ll be doing exactly that with our first law: “When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude”
Observance of Law
Say that you and another person are arguing over a client. Whoever entices the client best gets them, and the ability to work with them again in the future (if they are satisfied with their work).
Normally, most people would offer a proposition. In exchange for X, they do Y. They continue repeating this statement again, and again until hopefully, the client has made their decision. Similar to how two lawyers provide evidence for their defendant to the judge; both are responsible for building as credible and as strong of evidence as possible, presenting them to the judge, and getting them to change their mind, in hopes of being let free of the charges that they are being rightfully or wrongfully accused of.
And… this is by no means, a bad approach. It’s actually a very good, and the commonly expected one.
In order to get anyone to do anything for you, or anyone to accept your work and what you do, one side has to present an offer the other must accept – or that both parties must accept. In exchange for a nice warm cookie at a local bakery, you provide them with capital; much like in the businesses world, where in exchange for $500, you provide them with a top-notch service that you tailor and personalize to of great of an effect as possible to maximize on the possibility of their return and their willingness to buy from you again.
Propositions, offers, exchanges, and deals have existed in our forms of communicating, and handling business for millennia.
Even the great European explorers of the 15th century had to make propositions and get one side to accept their offer.
Definition
Returning back to the law, what does it mean to “appeal to their self-interest”, rather than their “mercy” or “gratitude”?
The answer is simple.
If you ever wish to get what you want, and maximize on the possibility that the outcome you’re wishing for becomes a reality, you must never mention what you did for them in the past.
To better depict what this means, we’ll come up with a fictional situation. Say that you and a couple of friends go for a drink at a local bar. You, one of the couple going, are aware that you -in the past- have bought one of your other friends, Thomas, for say; a drink. He never asked for it, but you got him it because you saw that he wasn’t going to purchase anything. Naturally, you might feel that he owes you something back for having bought him that drink a while back.
You all arrive at the bar; and everyone starts ordering the drinks and even food that they want. You quickly mention to Thomas how, the other day, you brought him a drink, and that now, he should willingly get you a drink to make up. Most people think like that. In the mind of Thomas however, your comment made hit him the wrong way. He believes that just because you got him something, when he didn’t even ask for it.
The night ends, and everyone heads back home. Thomas never bought you the drink you felt you deserved, and you left, having to buy your own drink; again. Who is in the right?
Observance of Scenario
In this case, it would be Thomas. Although you did get him the drink in the past, and though you might have that deep feeling inside of you, screaming at you that he deserves to get you something as a favor (and in return), that does not mean he is entitled to give you anything back. The reality is: no one is entitled to give you anything, even if you believe that they are.
Appealing to another’s gratitude, and their mercy only makes you appear weak, defenseless, and arrogant. None of these traits correlate to a being of power.
It is for this exact reason that you must appeal to their self-interest instead. How can YOU, help THEM, in the FUTURE, despite you and them having NO PAST RELATIONS or dealings? That is the right question to ask.
Interpretation of Law
You can hold your personal beliefs, and what you think of the law, but we think the following:
- Relations and dealings are best done on a commission-based format, in many cases. This means that as you do X task, they supply with you Y as payment. Although not all transactions or dealings are best done in this way, these tend to work fantastically.
- You should never depend on anyone, and rely on them to pay you back for what you did for them in the past. Bringing up the past is not a sign of power, and will only increase the possibility of your collapse. Analyze and understand who you deal, and participate in transactions with at all times. Being empty of this understanding, and of this valuable knowledge will put you in this helpless position where your only hope is to complain, and keep on hoping. You are valued for what you can do for them in the future; not what you did for them last week. The past has already happened, and there is nothing you can do to change it.
Conclusion: Future, Never The Past
Focus on the future, and leave the past behind. This piece of advice applies not only to a multitude of situations that you’ll participate in later in your life, or even right now, but also to your long and short-term well-being. To become the best version of yourself, and unlock a person so happy, yet so accomplished, you need to stop obsessing over the past (and what you can’t change), and rather focusing on what you can change, and can control (the future)
